Archive for October, 2007

Jennie Does Disney
October 22, 2007

Posted by jennie at 6/18/2007 9:35 AM
The station asked me to write a little blog so here we goooooooooooooooo.
This past week we took our kids to Disney World. We drove through the night and so the kids were surprised to find out that we weren’t actually going to a wedding like we had told them. It was Disney Time!
This wasn’t just any week in Disney, oh no! It was DUN DA DA DUN STAR WARS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!
We were greeted at the gate by storm troopers. They weren’t the cranky kind – nope they were hilarious.
We talked to characters, bought memorabilia and rode the Star Wars ride maybe 15 times or so. The kids loved it!
The very highest point of the entire Star Wars hooplah was the kids going through some Jedi training.
Several children from the crowd were chosen to go through the training. A jedi who himself had been trained by Master Obi Won instructed the kids on how to fight the darkside. Just as they were finishing the training there was a disturbance in the Force. Two storm troopers charged the stage followed by DARTH VADER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HE WAS THERE TO TRY TO BRING THE YOUNG PADAWANS TO THE DARKSIDE AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
The kids get to use the light saber skills they just aquired on DARTH VADER!!! Yup that’s right DARTH VADER!!!!
Needless to say all three of my kids took out Lord Vader and restored balance to the Force.
Stuff is so cool now.
When we were little we used sticks as light sabers and the kid down the street with asthma played Darth Vader because he was the only one that could mimick the breathing pattern.
Now the kids can get customized light sabers and have a showdowns with Darth Vader in the happiest place on Earth. Ok, I’m done.

Age differences in dating
October 22, 2007

Posted by jennie at 6/21/2007 8:17 AM
There is a couple in the news that just got married.
This in itself isn’t news worthy but they have a bit of an age difference. He is 40 and she is 16. EW! GROSS!
Today we were talking about this at the news desk and I heard a good rule of thumb. The difference in ages should be no larger than half your age plus seven years. So for example, if you are 40 you shouldn’t date anyone younger than 27. That seems pretty reasonable.
Age difference matters a lot more when you are younger obviously. This girl is taking someone who could be her father to her prom. As a matter of fact people are going to think he is her father everywhere they go.
I do understand not wanting to date younger guys. They aren’t as mature as the older ones and let’s face it ladies: as men get better looking as they get older.
Warning signs the guy is too old:
1. If you are in high school and he is one of the teachers he is too old.
2. If he is already using a nose hair trimmer he is too old.
3. If he is signing your tardy slips and field trip forms he is too old.
4. If your parents have to sign legal documents for you to get married he is too old.
5. If the guy you are considering dating is due for his regular prostate exam he is really too old.
Picture this……….you go to your high school reunion.Your husband’s dentures fall out when he bites into his food. Then when he goes to pick them up off the floor his back goes out. So, they have to call the paramedics to take him to the emergency room. You have to leave early. He tells you to stay but then who would carry his oxygen tank.
Ok,I’m done

Cleaning for the In-laws
October 22, 2007

Posted by jennie at 6/28/2007 7:43 AM
There are piles and piles of stuff all over my house. I do have a pretty ingenious way of cleaning up for my In-laws. Feel free to use my 5 step plan.
1. Get lots of trash bags to shove stuff into.Then shove it all in the closets.
2. Open all of the kitchen drawers and run your arm down the counter knocking everything inside the drawers.
You should not put anything into the silverware drawer people are likely to look in there.
3. Don’t over look the space under beds. Take a broom and sweep everything that’s on the floor under the bed.
That’s also where you should put all shoes and…..um………unmentionables…teehee
4. Instead of wasting time carrying stuff upstairs just throw it!
This saves time and is good for the flab on the back of your arms.
5. HAVE CHILDREN!!!
It’s true they make a lot of the mess but if you bribe them they will do anything! A trip to the dollar store will get you a clean house.
OK, I’m done!

guys and fixin stuff
October 22, 2007

Posted by jennie at 7/5/2007 7:14 AM
Santa brought a guitar for me and one for my daughter for Xmas this year. We are learning how to play them….slowly. Well, a string broke on hers and I didn’t really know how to restring it so I brought it in to work and asked one of the guys to show me how.
This is where I started laughing. Four different guys that work here showed up at my desk wanting to help or watch this guitar getting restrung. They looked like they were all gonna go nuts. Each one of them wanted to be the one to fix that guitar. Now, if someone else is doing it and all they can do is watch then you can hear how they would have done it.
SOOOOO FUNNNYYY!!!
I think this is a pretty universal male trait. When something can be fixed and think they can do it they REALLY WANT TO DO IT!!!
It can be something as small as glueing a toy back together.
I can start but within a few seconds Steve’s spidey senses are tingling and he has run into the room. They toy will be out of my hand before I know it. Which used to get on my nerves. Not anymore!
I think that I am gonna try to start using this information to my advantage.
I can tell Steve that all the laundry is broken and lost. Maybe he will fold it and find it a home back in the drawers.
I can tell the guys at work that I can’t get any of the traffic information. Tell them all I really need help. Maybe I won’t have to do anything.
Maybe someone will write a blog for me…….I gotta go talk to the guys about “MY COMPUTER PROBLEMS”
Oh, thanks to Eddie, Rodger, David and Matthew. Eddie never could have restrung that guitar.
OK, I’m done.

Myspace…don’t put up your ugly face
October 22, 2007

Posted by jennie at 7/10/2007 7:22 AM
I know taking pictures is hit or miss and that’s why there is a delete on digtal cameras…. That is not an excuse for stupidity. When you choose pictures for your Myspace profile picture don’t pick one that makes you look like you belong in Night of The Living Dead part 7. I’m not saying run out and have Glamour shots made. Then you look pathetic. What you want to do is take pictures that make you look good without looking like you tried.
Heres what you SHOULD DO in those myspace pictures.
1. If you are in fact ugly just put up pictures of things you like. Things like your cat or your garden.
2. Use pictures that accentuate your good features. If all you have are cute feet, that’s what you should use. Load up pictures of your feet at the beach or wearing crocs. If you do put pictures up of your feet, go ahead and set that profile to private. Otherwise you get freaks looking at your toes. EWE!
3. No more bathroom pictures. Why do people do that? There is a guy that works here and all he has up are pictures of himself in his bathroom. What?! That is also an EWE!!!!
4. Keep you piercings to yourself. If they ain’t on your head we don’t want to see them.
5. Unless you look like Kimberly Van Scoy you should cover it up. All of it.
6. Always look like you are having a good time…just not that good of a time.
OK,I’m done

Adam asked Becky to marry him…I got to be there
October 22, 2007

Posted by jennie at 7/17/2007 8:02 AM
This past weekend during one of my shows there was a marriage proposal. Becky volunteered to play a game with us. Well, we tricked her into volunteering. While she had her back turned we got Adam up on stage. When she turned around she found him on one knee. Everyone started crying. There is wedding being planned as I type.
This has been done a few other times at our club. This one was my second favorite. Steve proposed to me during one of our shows about 9 years ago. That one tops the list for me!
Hey Adam and Becky! I hope you have a great life together Enjoy the next few months of wedding mania. A lot of us stress about all the details. Don’t! Just have fun and make sure you get mostly what you want. Don’t make a seating chart that ticks people off. I did that and it was a waste of time. No one wants to sit with your stinky aunt makes weird noises and puts the rolls in her purse. If you skip the seating chart, the late arrivals gets stuck with her. Not your fault! Good luck and may the force be with you!
OK, I’m done.

strange cats and doggie diets
October 22, 2007

Posted by jennie at 7/20/2007 7:33 AM
We all have weird pet stories here. Brian Slocum’s cats try to take showers with him. Who can blame them. Brian is a hottie. Talk about about a warm front! MEEEEOOOWWW!
My cat uses our socks to cover up her poop. Most people’s dryers steal their socks. My cat uses my socks as toilet paper. Either way you have to buy new socks.
The dogs around here are the real winners in the strange behavior contest. The diets of the dogs in this newsroom at some point have consisted of: a hamster, a small tree, trivial pursuit pieces, cat poop, and people. OK, the people eating isn’t true, but the girl that said it does have a pitbull. So, I guess it’s possible.
OK, I’m done.

The next time I get asked for money
October 22, 2007

Posted by jennie at 7/26/2007 9:55 AM
This past weekend I went out to dinner with some friends. A man came up to us and asked for money. After an uncomfortable silence, we said no. He did not take no for an answer. So, we all said no again. Then the guy sits down at our table and will not leave. He gets grumpier and grumpier. He leaves after about 8 or 9 minutes. This was a very long 8 minutes. This was very irritating!!!!
I always feel uncomfortable when i say no. I shouldn’t!!! It is my money! So, I have come up with some ways that will make it easier for me to say no….at least they will make me laugh.
1. Just ask him for cash before they can ask me.
2. Tell him all I have is gold from under my rainbow.
3. Speak a foreign language. He will think I can’t understand them or that I am nuts. Either way, he is bound to leave me alone.
4. Start singing N’SYNC songs. That should make him say”BYE BYE BYE”. I probably just put that song in your head. Sorry about that.
OK, I’m done. That ain’t no lie. Bye! Bye! Bye!

I DON’T WANT TO SAVE 10%ON MY PURCHASE!!!!!
October 22, 2007

Posted by jennie at 7/30/2007 7:12 AM
I hate being asked if I want to open a credit account at every store I go into. NO! I don’t really have a desire to pay 25% interest for three shirts, a pair of underwear and some Trident Citrus Burst. Thanks for asking.
I hate being asked for my phone number or my zip-code. I don’t want my purchase tracked. My new answer is 867-5309. Thank you, Tommy Tutone
I hate being told about online surveys. I don’t care if I can get three dollars off on my next purchase. I am not spending 20 minutes online saying I had a mediocre experience at some chain restaurant. If I am gonna spend extra time online it will be complaining about stupid surveys in my blog.
I hate being greeted at the door and being told there are AMAZING SALES going on. I can read!!! There are 42 signs up all over the store. I know it is the biggest sale of the season.
I hate being told about the sale while I am next to the sales rack!!! I NOTICED!!!!!!!!!
I hate going out to dinner and being handed three menus because of all the new choices they have in the restaurant. I am just gonna start handing them right back to one of the 62 hostess they have working. The 53rd hostess is most important. She holds one of the doors open for you and is the last of 12 people to say good bye to you on the way out. Leave me alone!!!!!!!!
When I am at a restaurant I hate being upsold. If I wanted an appetizer I would order one. Don’t ask me if I am having dessert either. You know why! Because if I wanted one I would have ordered it!!!! So, you can take your strawberry swirl mocha cheesecake with dark chocolate shavings in an Oreo cookie shell on top of a bed of romaine lettuce AND STICK IT WHERE THE SUN DON’T SHINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK, I’m done.

Yo Mama!
October 22, 2007

Posted by jennie at 8/15/2007 5:33 AM

That’s right everyone. Yo Mama jokes are making a comeback!!!! Here are some we came up with around the newsroom this morning. They may be lame but they made us laugh. Largest contributer one of our editors, Anthony Cox. Though this list was really a group effort.
Yo Mama is so dumb when Austin said it was chili outside she ran into the house and got a bowl.
Your Mama is so cross-eyed when she cries tears roll down her back.
Your Mama is so stupid it took her an hour to cook Minute Rice.
Your Mama is so stupid she thinks Tupac Shakur is a Jewish holiday.
Your Mama is so fat when she tripped in Winston Salem she landed in Kernersville.
Yo Mama is so dumb she got fired from the M&M factory cuz she kept throwing away the Ws.
Yo Mama is so fat when she gets on a scale it reads to be continued……
Yo Mama is so fat she goes to KFC to lick other peoples fingers.
Ok,I’m done…..